Stop Worrying About Your Grown Kids, Friends, etc.

You may think that you are being helpful when you tell your grown children or your friends how you worry about them, but what you are really doing is chipping away at their self-esteem.

What you are really saying is “I don’t trust you/your judgment, I know best, follow my advice, and you’ll be okay.”

“Yeah but,” you argue, “I’m older than they are, I’ve had more life experiences, I know better, and besides, I don’t want them to get hurt.”

Didn’t you hate it when your parents or teachers or friends said how worried they were about you. Then you had to worry not only about your own problem but their worry as well. You had to act quickly so that the people you loved wouldn’t worry (aka be upset, loose sleep, etc.) about you (and then you would feel guilty). And you were really trying hard to manage your life.

Of course, you don’t want them to get hurt, and you also don’t want to worry about them. How about making “suggestions” or asking them how they want to solve the issue, then step back, and let them. Besides, sometimes the best (and only) way for your kids to learn is to fail. Wasn’t that so for you?!